It often happens when friends have known each other for a long time that they start taking each other for granted. A person knows you so well that they know what you are thinking and say something before you say it. You become like an open book...this person knows your dreams, the kind of man you like, knows your family and family issues. Old friends tend to be judgemental because they know all your ups and downs.
In friendships where there are more than two people, three is a crowd. There is a lot of gossip and backstabbing. The person thinks you are twins because they know you so well. I wouldn't keep a friend who takes me for granted and has lack of respect for my space. For a friendship to be healthy, there has to be boundaries.
A friend that speaks to me in the same way I speak to myself is destructive. When I'm down, a friend should help to pick me up. A friend must be able to help me without asking for help.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Fish falling from the sky.
Growing up in a black community is challenging. Parents do not communicate to their children and tell them the reality of life. Children grow up with false knowledge of what life is. When a mother falls pregnant, she does not tell you as her child about her pregnancy. You are told that babies come from aeroplanes or bought from Edgars. As a child you see your mother getting 'fatter' and her tummy growing bigger, but no-one communicates with you what is going on. You see your mother eating fruit and all of a sudden she has special needs.
In our communities, our mothers didn't have baby showers so there no way of knowing that a baby was on the way. It was also bad luck to buy baby clothes before the baby was born. It was a secret when a woman was pregnant and she could not tell other people how far she was with her pregnancy. No-one told you when your mother went to hospital to give birth, you just saw her coming home with a baby. When the baby arrives your lives change forever. No-one is allowed to see the baby for at least a month. When visitors came they took their hands and put them under their armpits and feet, then put their hands on the baby's nose. This is said to be done to protect the child from evil spirits. Children are said to sense evil spirits easily.
The baby is not allowed outside the house until she is three months old. All these were superstitions to protect the baby. Now that I'm grown I realise it's all a big, fat lie. It always seemed so bizarre and it was like fish falling from the sky.
In our communities, our mothers didn't have baby showers so there no way of knowing that a baby was on the way. It was also bad luck to buy baby clothes before the baby was born. It was a secret when a woman was pregnant and she could not tell other people how far she was with her pregnancy. No-one told you when your mother went to hospital to give birth, you just saw her coming home with a baby. When the baby arrives your lives change forever. No-one is allowed to see the baby for at least a month. When visitors came they took their hands and put them under their armpits and feet, then put their hands on the baby's nose. This is said to be done to protect the child from evil spirits. Children are said to sense evil spirits easily.
The baby is not allowed outside the house until she is three months old. All these were superstitions to protect the baby. Now that I'm grown I realise it's all a big, fat lie. It always seemed so bizarre and it was like fish falling from the sky.
Monday, March 7, 2011
What is the colour of the wind?
The wind plays an important role in our lives and generally people are irritated by it. A lot of wind can be destructive, there are many instances where it has destroyed cities and towns. There have been hurricanes and whirlwinds that have cost people their lives and all their belongings in different parts of the world. You can't see the wind or touch it, but you can feel its presence.
The advantages of wind come in places like Durban where it is hot. When the weather is humid, wind helps people to cool down. This is when people enjoy the wind the most when there is a breeze. The wind helps to dry clothes quickly, without it your laundry will take the whole day to dry. You can't see as it goes through your clothes and making them dry.
The wind has many colours, the wind can be blue like the clouds and the sea. The wind is brown when it lifts the dust off the ground. The wind is black when there is a hurricane. When there is a fire, the wind makes it turn red and spread. The wind is grey when it rains and it pushes the storm. The wind changes depending on the weather.
The wind is colourless, but it is through its effects that we are able to see the colour.
The advantages of wind come in places like Durban where it is hot. When the weather is humid, wind helps people to cool down. This is when people enjoy the wind the most when there is a breeze. The wind helps to dry clothes quickly, without it your laundry will take the whole day to dry. You can't see as it goes through your clothes and making them dry.
The wind has many colours, the wind can be blue like the clouds and the sea. The wind is brown when it lifts the dust off the ground. The wind is black when there is a hurricane. When there is a fire, the wind makes it turn red and spread. The wind is grey when it rains and it pushes the storm. The wind changes depending on the weather.
The wind is colourless, but it is through its effects that we are able to see the colour.
Which activities make you lose track of time?
I have one activity that mainly makes me lose track of time. I love chatting with friends and family. Many people have told me that they feel comfortable talking and sharing their challenges with me. I think I was a psychologist in my past life. Now that I have done Public Relations, I am considering being a personal coach and complimenting that with my Image Consultancy.
The airtime on my contract phone does not last the whole month. I spend a lot of time talking to my friend, our conversations at the least are 15 minutes long and can be up to an hour on the phone. My friend and I both agree that texting and using social networks is not the same as talking. I enjoy talking because afterwards I feel relieved and I find it therapeutic.
Talking makes me feel free, I laugh about silly things I have done. I talk about my dreams, some dreams seem unrealistic and some are stupid. I share that with friends and have realised that I'm not the only one.Talking is about sharing information and information is power. People have big problems because they don't talk and some people prefer to suffer in silence. I believe you will never be hungry if you talk, you never know who can help you.
People die without talking and always acting as if they're fine when they are not. Some commit suicide leaving unanswered questions because they did not communicate. Relationships at times don't work because there is no communication, partners have expectations but they do not express them. The mouth is a powerful tool and talking is a powerful skill.
The airtime on my contract phone does not last the whole month. I spend a lot of time talking to my friend, our conversations at the least are 15 minutes long and can be up to an hour on the phone. My friend and I both agree that texting and using social networks is not the same as talking. I enjoy talking because afterwards I feel relieved and I find it therapeutic.
Talking makes me feel free, I laugh about silly things I have done. I talk about my dreams, some dreams seem unrealistic and some are stupid. I share that with friends and have realised that I'm not the only one.Talking is about sharing information and information is power. People have big problems because they don't talk and some people prefer to suffer in silence. I believe you will never be hungry if you talk, you never know who can help you.
People die without talking and always acting as if they're fine when they are not. Some commit suicide leaving unanswered questions because they did not communicate. Relationships at times don't work because there is no communication, partners have expectations but they do not express them. The mouth is a powerful tool and talking is a powerful skill.
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